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Joke of the Day

"I was told the Highlander was stopping by a Mexican nightclub When I showed up to the party, there was only Juan."

"What three things does a woman need to do an oil change on her car? Two boobs and a man"

"[God & his assistant making giraffes] ASST: Say ""when"" once the neck is long enough, k? *God is on his iPhone not really paying attention*"

"A man hit's a woman with a car. Who's at fault ? the man, he should't have been driving in the kitchen.;3"

"Why didn't the coffee and the tea get along? Because they were being ""brewed"""

"If 'con' is the opposite of 'pro', then the opposite of progress is..."

"Did you hear about the lady whose house was infested with Easter eggs? She had to call an eggs-terminator!"

"After being away from Reddit for a day, how do you keep up with what you missed? You go to 9gag."

"""I love plates."" - Plato"