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Joke of the Day
"Apple fitness products don't work. I tried the iHop and it only made me gain weight."
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"[emergency room] DOCTOR: Point to what's causing you the most pain ME: I can't, they're at home playing xbox"
"Are your clothes meant to scream out ""help"" when you squeeze yourself into them?"
"My mother said if never be able to build a car out of spaghetti.. You should've seen her face when I drove pasta."
"What's the difference between a prostitute with diarrhoea and an epileptic oyster shucker? The oyster shucker shucks between fits."
"A dog with a cowboy hat, spurs and a cigar limps in through the swinging doors of a saloon... ...He says, ""I'm looking for the man who shot my paw"""
"You know I think Fight Club is pretty underrated. Nobody talks about it these days"
"How much does a truck made of light weigh? Photons"
"TIL an African grey parrot, who lives an incredibly long life, can learn up to the vocabulary of an 8 year old. So when do you have the sex talk?"
"I hate when you're trying to be cheesy but everyone is laughtose intolerant."