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Joke of the Day
"Apple fitness products don't work. I tried the iHop and it only made me gain weight."
Next Joke
 
"Somewhere along the way, I stopped trying to gain friends,,and just started enjoying reading and writing posts."
"For all of you fighting about Black Friday, please remember... All Fridays matter."
"Her: Couldn't you have picked a better record to beat? Me: *covered in 13,000 bees* There's no way this can end badly, Susan."
"I've been told I can be a bit condescending. That means I talk down to people."
"How many dank memes does it take to change a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, just use the jet fuel instead."
"Social butterfly? Nah. I'm more like a social Sasquatch. Some people swear they've seen me, but no one really believes them."
"Where does sans live? Sans francisco"
"How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go ride our bikes!"
"My girlfriend said I should be louder in the bedroom. But apparently she didn't give me permission to snore."