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Joke of the Day

"African conservationists call for the ban on hunting hippopotamus to be lifted, citing environmental concerns. To me the whole thing seems so hippocritical."

"Monks teach peace and harmony, but they sure do seem to like resistance.. Ohmmmmmm."

"I wish every time I made eye contact the Super Mario coin sound happened."

"Her: What's a girl gotta do to get a drink? Me: You just give the bartender your order. Her: ... Me: It's really pretty easy. Her: *leaves*"

"Talking to a Beaver So I was talking to a beaver one day about how I was homeless and told him I was looking for a new place to live. He gave me this commiserating look and said, ""Well dam."""

"Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump."

"What do you call a women who cant draw? Trace"

"My wife is so weird She starts every conversation with ""were you even listening to me?"""

"I'd take Cap'n Crunch more seriously if his eyebrows weren't on his hat."

"If you lose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer."