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Joke of the Day

"African conservationists call for the ban on hunting hippopotamus to be lifted, citing environmental concerns. To me the whole thing seems so hippocritical."

"Q: Was Jesus delicious?"

"Me: Siri, did you know millions of people misquote you on Twitter every day? Siri: Tim, I want your polish sausage."

"Personally, I'm fine with what Reddit's admins are doing. It's fun watching them Digg their own grave."

"Steve-""My wife is a very careful driver"". Smith-""How do you know that""? Steave-""She Always Slows down when passing a red light""!"

"What's the grossest number? 6.9 because it's a 69 with a period in the middle."

"What did the Buffalo say to his son as he left for college? Bison."

"Two snakes Snake one asks ""Hey man, are we venomous?"" Snake two responds, ""Extremely. Why do you ask?"" ""Because I just bit my tongue"""

"1942: How can we beat the Nazis? 1968: How can we go to the moon? 2006: How can a phone be a supercomputer? 2016: How can we beat the Nazis?"

"My friend called and said, "" on your drive over later please don't forget to bring all the ingredients for the Guacamole "". I said sure, there's only one problem..........I don't avocado."