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Joke of the Day

"This October has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays all in one month. It happens only once in 823 years. waw."

"How do you know the toothbrush was invented in South Carolina? Cause if it was invented anywhere else it'd be called a teethbrush."

"Where did Suzy go when the bombs fell? Everywhere."

"Toddlers are the only life form that can exist entirely on their own snot, one goldfish cracker, and half a chicken nugget a day."

"""?leef uoy ekam taht did woh dnA"" - reverse psychology"

"a man walks into a bar ouch"

"Ways Ryan Gosling and I are similar: 1. Up to date on our vaccinations 2. I dunno, that's probably it and I'm not sure about that first one."

"Knuckle tats: (M)(Y)(P)(A)(R)(E)(N)(T)(S) (W)(E)(R)(E)(R)(E)(L)(A)(T)(E)(D)"

"Me: You never told me you were on the debate team in college.. Her: Yes I did. Me: No you didn't. Her: Yes I did. Me: Oh you're good!"

"""And now it's time for Guess How Many Belly Rubs I Want! Remember, contestants, guess wrong and you get the claws!"" - Cat game shows"