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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between the Oscars and the BET Awards? Oscar winners can thank BOTH of their parents."

"alarm (noun) -a device commonly used in the morning to invent new curse words."

"This generation sucks but does it swallow"

"Whenever I meet a girl with tattoos, I get excited. Because I know she's legal and willing to do stuff she may regret."

"Why do girls wear perfume and makeup? Because they're ugly and they smell bad"

"My tweets may contain typos because English is not my first language--my first language was baby talk, and babies are horrible writers."

"What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam."

"Which nut is the angriest? The pistachio."

"TIFU by trying to kill a spider with axe body spray. Now his name is chad and he's fucking all the girl spiders in my house."

"Birds do it. Bees do it. Even educated fleas do it. Let's do it. Let's fly into a window."