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Joke of the Day

"You say the punch line first. Whats the best way to ruin a joke?"

"[White House] Any ideas on how to defeat ISIS? *Biden excitedly raises hand* Besides assembling the Avengers. *Biden dejectedly lowers hand*"

"Women's rights. want to laf again? **WOMYNS RITES!!!** el oh el"

"There's absolutely no way Lady Gaga was born with half an Office Depot hot-glued to her head."

"some babies are born premature but i was born very mature i just came out and i was like so what"

"While you're thinking what to wear, I'm thinking how to take it off."

"When I was a kid, I asked my dad where babies come from. He said, ""The fridge! You should go see if there's one in there now! If there isn't, bring me a beer!"""

"I always wondered why cross eyed people never get hit crossing the road. Then it hit me. They are always looking both ways."

"I always play Jenga on a first date That way girls know my pull out game is strong"

"What did one lonely penis say to the other? I just want to belong."