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Joke of the Day

"They say 1 in every 4 men is gay, so there must be one in my group of friends. I wonder which one of them 7 is, I really need a cock in my ass."

"Why shouldn't you tell secrets on the farm? The corn has ears, the potatoes have eyes, and the beanstalk."

"""Good morning, this is your pilot speaking"" ... ""AND THIS IS YOUR PILOT SHOUTING"" ... ""and this is your pilot doing some sick beatboxing"""

"I can't wait to find out who's playing Donald Trump in the next season of American Horror Story"

"I have nothing in common with people that learn from their mistakes"

"What's a fedora tippin neckbeard's favorite country? M'laysia"

"I named my first dog ""What"". Only now did I just realize why the guy on tech support was getting so angry when he repeatedly asked ""What is the name of your first pet?"" and I kept answering ""Yes."""

"I really identify with the trans movement... For the first 9 months of my life, I was a man trapped in a woman's body!"

"You shouldn't buy so much Velcro... It usually a ripoff"

"Can we please stop referring to them as ""dick pics."" I think ""penis portraits"" has a classy je ne sais quoi appeal."