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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza's don't scream when you put them in the oven."

"Helen Keller walks into a bar... And a table. And some chairs."

"Who is the greatest author of the medieval era? King Author"

"When do you kick a dwarf in the balls? When he is standing next to your lady saying her hair smells nice."

"Yo mama so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh-eating disease, the doctor gave her 10 years to live."

"I tried to grab some fog. I mist."

"What is the difference between period blood and sand? You can't gargle sand!"

"Sex is like a box if chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."

"How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. *drops mic, gets beat by security*"

"priest: ""does anyone here know why these two should not be wed?"" me: ""SHE LEAVES THE VOLUME ON ODD NUMBERS"" priest: [slowly closes bible]"