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Joke of the Day

"Soup Person1 my alphabet soup is telling me a message. Person 2 what is it saying? Person1: oooooo Person 2 *sigh* Those are cheerios"

"(On phone) Him: I just ran a marathon in under four? Me: (eating) months or years?"

"What did the homeless man get for christmas? very hungry"

"If donald trump marries donald duck ,What will they name their child? Donald Dump"

"What worse than finding out your wife has cancer? Finding out it is curable."

"Be wary about dating a female that pronounces the letter H silent Especially when she tells you that all she wants is happiness."

"Today, I saw that my ironing board cover was wrinkled.I laughed at the irony.Then I laughed again because irony has the word iron in it."

"What do you call a black guy who flies a plane? A PILOT, YOU RACIST!"

"Cute girl: omg I love this bread [At the next table] Jesus: [loudly, holding up a slice of bread] so this is my body"

"Sunday is an attractive person at the bar who turns out to be religious"