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Joke of the Day

"Why did the redneck high school cancel driver's ed class? They needed the car for sex ed."

"Next time someone asks me a question I'm going to pull a Google & tell them my response time: ""I'd like the salad. (2.5 seconds!)"""

"If Twitter was a country, its flag would just have a bunch of poop and bacon and beer on it."

"Drink to remember. Drink to forget. Tweet while drinking, Wake up with regret."

"Why was the chicken kicked out of class? For using *fowl* language."

"There were 2 cows in a field and one says ""mooo"" and the other says... ""I was going to say that"""

"""Ok, what chemical symbol should we give this Gold?"" *thief runs by, steals gold* ""Hey! You!"" Au, got it. Next element."

"Why is it bad for blind people to skydive? It scares the hell out of the dog"

"You are not even beneath my contempt."

"What did the sexy Japanese food say? Miso horny"