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Joke of the Day
"Why is the new Zork game rated M for mature?? I guess it's too grue-some."
Next Joke
"4-year-old: We're playing Star Wars. I'm a Jedi and Mom is a stormtrooper. Me: What am I? 4-year-old: In the way."
"What's Gordon Ramsay's favorite sex position? FUCKING RAAAWWW!!!"
"Mom. Dad. I like my coffee like I like my women. I don't like coffee. I'm gay."
"I came into some money yesterday. I couldn't find the tissues."
"Why isn't China a democracy? Because then they'd have to hold erections."
"John Goodman descends from the sky on his hang glider, scooping stray cats into his mouth like a pelican."
"My sex life is like the punch line of this joke"
"What do you put in an actor's drink... [OC] to raise the level of anticipation at the Oscars? [Expectorant](/spoiler)"
"pranking neighborhood teens by pulling my car into their driveway & putting a bow on it so they think their parents bought it for them"