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Joke of the Day

"*I come downstairs to see my dog has eaten my dinner off the counter* Dude, I said I was sorry for eating yours."

"When everything comes your way.. You are in the wrong lane"

"I heard that Bill Clinton threw his support behind Bernie Sanders He misheard. He thought the campaign slogan was *Feel the Intern*."

"C, Eb, and G walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""Sorry, no minors."""

"I've decided to leave my past behind So if I owe you money, I'm sorry but I've moved on."

"5 years ago, I asked the love of my life on a date. Yesterday, I asked her to marry me. She said no both times. Posted this on r/funny and was told to post it here also."

"Strange that the Bible has no bibliography."

"Men are four times more likely than women to commit suicide, even though women attempt it more. So men are better at it! \- George Carlin"

"What are the symptoms of amnesia? I can't remember"

"Tiger Woods goes through 18 holes in one day... And he STILL has time for golf."