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Joke of the Day
"What did the cow say to the paintbrush? Moo. As told by my kid this morning."
Next Joke
"What did the robot hit-man say to his robot victim? ""Nothing personal."""
"I'm so lazy, if autocorrect doesn't know the word after 3 letters I put my phone down."
"Is this why we're in a recession? Because babies were trading our stocks?"
"""we're out of bread"" ""ciabatta be kidding!"" [waiter takes out gun] ""make another bread pun and ur toast, pal... shit"" [i take out my gun]"
"Grim Reaper: You know why I'm here. Me: Heavy drinking? Unhealthy diet? Texting and driving? GR: You should've forwarded that chain email."
"Fatherhood Tip : If there's puke in your coat pocket and poop on your shoulder, you're holding the baby upside down."
"People are smoking weed today They all think that today is 4/20, too."
"My buddy asked me what it's like now that I'm circumcized I told him not much has changed, I just get a little less head."
"My wife is so sweet Every time she goes to a bar alone she gives me her wedding ring so I can think about her all night long."