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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between saying sorry and apologizing? You can say sorry at a funeral."

"I bought a Russian porno magazine the other day called Barely Legal. Opened it up and there was a picture of two men holding hands."

"My girlfriend wanted to have a talk about how childish i am But she didn't have the secret password to my pillow fort so she couldn't get in"

"My buddy tells me he had sex with his GF and her twin the other night. I asked him how he told them apart. He says, ""well her brother has a mustache"""

"What did the the Jamaican daddy spice say to his son when he was being bad? Your a cinnamon"

"What do you call a penny with Jesus on it? J.C. Penny"

"No Deja vu please...I Don't want to go through that again"

"I carry one of those tiny Swiss Army knives with me at all times. You never know when you'll need a tiny blade to thwart an attacker."

"""Give it to me! Give it to me!"" she yelled, ""I'm so wet, give it to me now!"" She could scream all she wanted to. I was keeping the umbrella."

"What did the rich bearded slave owner say when he was stranded in the desert and saw a mirage of an Arabian lamp and rubbed it? here in my mirage got this brand new labor genie here"