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Joke of the Day

"What chews on trees and sings? Justin Beaver"

"So I gave a blind guy a basketball. I think he's still trying to read it..."

"I almost wish the guy I'm stalking would find me and call the cops. These bushes are scratchy and my legs are cramping."

"What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off!"

"What is the best anti-joke you know? Well a joke that isn't funny, but still is because it isn't. If you know what I mean. These are kind of much easier to remember."

"I was asked how I view lesbian relationships. Apparently in HD wasn't the right answer."

"How you doin' Jerusalem! ""WINE"" Here's a new tric- ""MAKE WINE"" Please, I've been working very hard on my routi- *dodges stone jars of water*"

"...walks into a bar... A golfer, a priest and a lawyer walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and asks, ""What is this? Some kind of joke?"""

"For 20 years, I've pretended to be the head of propaganda at my company. I'm not really, I just tell everyone I am and they believe me."

"On soy milk cartons, the missing kids are always named ""Skylar"" and were last seen getting into a Prius"