222542

Joke of the Day

"So I was using a zester on a lemon recently, when I paused for a second and realised... ..that I was only just scratching the surface."

"Why are urologists selfish? Because they're all about number one"

"What's the difference between a slice of toast and the French? You can make soldiers out of a slice of toast."

"What did the neckbeard wizard use to find his way around Hogwarts? M'rauders Map"

"When using the equation Y=1-T to understand how citizens react to changes in taxation...what happens when T>1? Alot of T gets dumped in a harbor"

"Three tampons are walking down the street.. A light, a regular, and a super tampon are all walking down the street. Which one talks to you first? None. They are all stuck up bitches."

"not one character on the show Friends had a job that was a joke, was broke, or had a love life that was DOA."

"From Neil Gaiman's ""Sandman"" A woman is crying on the street: ""HELP! I've been reaped!"" ""You mean raped?"" asked a man. ""No! he used a scythe!"""

"Why is it called a cunt? Because that's the sound it makes when you kick it."

"Q: What's the book of socially prominent monsters? A: The Book of who's Boo."