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Joke of the Day

"What kinds of stories do dolphins tell around the campfire? They're just ghost stories for all in tents and porpoises."

"How Does Baby Hitler Tie His Shoes? With itty-bitty knotsies"

"My friend asked me if I wanted to watch Countdown with them ""What's that?"", I replied, ""Dracula's retarded brother?"""

"All my dance moves look like i'm trying to tell the guy on first base to steal second.."

"Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is a copy of your naughty list. Love, -Tim"

"Having an intelligent conversation with my 17 year old son. Just kidding. He's making fart noises while I talk about the SATs."

"I'm not into anything ""weird"", but this vacuum at Target looks like a total VILF."

"So annoying when Mexican women at Walmart pretend they don't know where the cleaning supply aisle is."

"Why is Santa so Jolly? He knows where all the BAD girls live. (not oc)"

"How do you keep a moron in suspense?"