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Joke of the Day

"There is only one true way to make your pancakes more metal Start referring to maple syrup as tree blood."

"A neutron walks into a bar and asks, ""how much for a beer?"" The bartender replies, ""For you, no charge."""

"Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey are to star in a new film, a murder mystery set at a music festival. It's a Whodunnit."

"There's a woman here who, by the amount of makeup on her face, fought with a rainbow - and lost."

"There was a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge and a note ""Don't eat me"".Now there's an empty plate and a note ""Don't tell me what to do"""

"What kind of Asian dish takes away your freedoms? Kung Pao Chicken"

"""Why can't I just eat the wax?"" ~me, when I can't open the cheese"

"*looks at selfie* ""Hmmm I need more flattering lighting"" *tries again inside an unlit abandoned coal mine* ""ahhh much better"""

"All I'm saying is if I were president I would make a law banning women from saying ""We need to talk"""

"I don't play fantasy football, but I do play fantasy friendship. This week I'm starting Taylor Swift and Conan O'Brien."