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Joke of the Day
"Who's the most self-centered Muppet? Beaker. All he says is ""Me Me Me."""
Next Joke
"I like my women like I like my M.C. Escher paintings Impossibly proportioned"
"ME: i thought i saw a new color today WIFE: wait- is this..are you.. M: but it- W: oh no M: was just- W: dont M: a pigment of my imagination"
"What does a pediatrist do when you ask them which body part they find most interesting? They admit de feet."
"What's the difference between a feminist and a bomb vest? The bomb vest actually does something when triggered."
"What did the black kid get on his SAT's? Barbeque sauce."
"A man walks into a bar and yells, ""All Lawyers are assholes!"" Someone at the bar stands up and says, ""I take offense to that."" ""Why? Are you a lawyer?"" ""No. I'm an asshole."""
"A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine died. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, ""I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."""
"When you try to prove to someone that something doesn't work, it will."
"Did you hear about the woman who had twelve boobs? Sounds fake, dozen tit?"