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Joke of the Day

"OH MY GOD EDDIE MURPHY IS GOING TO DO STAND UP I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT oh never mind they're going to commercial. #SNL40"

"After learning about hieroglyphics, it makes you realize that Egyptians invented the emoji."

"Been at this farmer's market for 20 minutes. Haven't seen a single beard. About to FREAK OUT & start throwing these organic soaps"

"[Ariel climbs Rapunzel's hair with a dinglehopper between her teeth] ""There can only be one socially awkward Princess,"" she vows savagely."

"What did one Mexican say to the other Mexican? It's four-twenty Juan!"

"i really like the name saturn it has a nice ring to it"

"I like my girls like I like my pepperoni pizza White, full of fat and red dots all over them... :-("

"How does a cat tell time?? In meowers"

"Facebook is basically just you having a conversation with yourself hoping that someone else will join in."

"How many Biebers does it take to change a light bulb? None. There are no light bulbs in the closet. Another one: Why is Justin Bieber so pale? Because there's no light inside the closet"