219521

Joke of the Day

"a joke about a lawyer Q: why did the lawyer get written up for sexual harassment? A: he kept asking people if they had seen his briefs."

"Wife: OMG the baby just swallowed some Scrabble tiles! Me: Which ones? Wife: BLTOUR & E Me: Well, that could spell trouble"

"So, a girl was giving me a handjob... and I told her to stop because she was rubbing me the wrong way."

"Have you seen the one about the idiots with bad jokes? Yep, Reddit."

"You know you're in a shitty bar when the food is colder than your beer."

"To any redditors who abuse, or have abused drugs... violence is not the answer."

"Ouija board......""your going to die!"" Me: you're*"

"My neighbors are organizing something called a ""fun run"". This shit never happened when I lived in my car."

"I can't wait until I'm 69. It's going to be hilarious."

"Are we sure the wise men who brought frankincense and myrrh weren't just trying to sign Mary up for their essential oils pyramid scheme?"