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Joke of the Day

"A good sign that you're not ready for children is if you cut your food with a credit card."

"Many people think that Canada's new Prime Minister is hot. It's true, though."

"Just saw two homeless people hitting each other with cardboard.... Pillow fight?"

"What did they call the documentary about Lorena Bobbit? American Snipper"

"Q: What do you call a tree from Tulsa? A: An oakie."

"The Internet is the world's greatest source of things you don't really need."

"Topical! What does a Japanese man do when there's an erection? He votes!"

"What do you call a haughty criminal walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending."

"Call me old fashioned, but I think any woman that can open the lid of a jar by herself is a witch."

"You know that brain-dead zone you go to in the middle of a cardio workout? Is that where dogs always are?"