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Joke of the Day

"If life was fair, Ryan Gosling would have been born with Ray Romano's voice."

"The earth moves 1.6 million miles per day. So no I didn't just ""lay in bed and watch TV all day"" I traveled very far thank u"

"What's long and hard and fucks old people? Osteoporosis"

"Barney Stinson ask god ""God,why do you make woman so beautiful?"" ""So you'll love her"" God reply. ""Then why do you make them so dumb?"" ""So they'll love you"", *Ba dum tss*"

"What's the difference between the jokes from today and next week's jokes? The posters."

"I've just started playing the triangle in a reggae band I stand at the back and ting."

"*opens present HER: What is this? ME: It's The One Ring. I fought orcs for it. HER: They didn't have that Michael Kors bag I showed you?"

"-Are you single? -No, I'm an album."

"Probably the worst Rule ever is Ja."

"I like to sneak into people's houses and masturbate in their livingroom. ...so far no ones heard me cumming."