217966

Joke of the Day

"Why is it that everyone hears the car alarm for a good 5 minutes before the owner does?"

"Did you hear about that group of midgets suing the local bar? Yeah, they were upset with how short the stools were. The judge threw out the case, though; told them they were grasping at straws."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Tasmanian Barbie ...spins like a top!"

"I like to stand in the corner of my psychiatrist's waiting room and blow on anyone who walks by... Most people hate it, but I'm a fan..."

"How is /r/jokes like sex? I don't get it."

"Don't you dare look at me with that come hither stare; I haven't hithered in years."

"Life is like a dry handjob. Sometimes its painful sometimes its enjoyable most of the time its hard but mostly your just happy it keeps goin"

"Sally Why could Sally never answer questions about her previous husbands? They all beat her."

"My cat died. But I know he'll forever live on in passwords."

"Cocky joke: You know, I've recently decided I just don't like my penis. It's such a huge dick."