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Joke of the Day

"Why can't Helen Keller use an iPhone? Because she's dead."

"Did you see that new porno with the invisible man? He came out of nowhere!"

"What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch? Names."

"It's so hot outside! I've been out here 10 minutes and I'm already wetter then Kim Kardashian at the BET Awards."

"I went on a date last night with a tiny lobster. It didnt go well. She was a little shellfish."

"Why would the road cross the chicken? Because it had a death wish. It's well known that no one crosses the chicken and lives."

"Sorry I moaned seductively while eating a Gogurt at your bible study group."

"A baby came out of my stomach and I was all ""weird, I don't remember eating that..."""

"Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood."

"My wife decided to take up painting Not to be outdone, I became an art critic."