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Joke of the Day

"No one seems to like my gallows humor. They get so hung up about it."

"So I asked my friend, ""I hear your husband applied for a position in the government"" Me:""What is he doing now?"" Friend: ""Nothing"" Me: ""But I thought he got the job!?"" Friend: ""Yes he did."""

"Babies are the most helpless & vulnerable of humans, it's fked up that they're the only humans you're allowed to just throw into the air."

"""I shit you not"" - Yoda claiming dibs on the bathroom"

"What do you do when a box kotex catches on fire? throw it on the ground and tampon it."

"Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one."

"How do Jedi plan for retirement? With a Hoth IRA. I'll see myself out."

"So my buddy was going down... On his grandmother, and he told me he realized he was tasting horse semen... That's when he thought. ""I wonder if that's what killed her or not? """

"Every morning is the dawn of a new error."

"Venus Williams has blamed her first round exit at Wimbledon to the balls not bouncing correctly. May I suggest for her to try some better fitting underwear?"