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Joke of the Day

"Why do college students already get up at 7? Because the supermarket closes at 7:30"

"The wife & I fought last night. Saying things that can't be taken back. Like perishable goods. Baby food. DVDs with broken seals. Underwear."

"I met a new girl in work today, and she was a vegan I've never seen herbivore"

"Women are like pickup trucks. Men with poor taste usually want to add a lift kit."

"The Fine Bros should be join the Criminal Minds team After all, they did find 100k unsubs in just one day."

"One time I asked, ""What would Jesus do?"". That's the same day I almost drowned."

"So I called my friend turkey and I said to him ""Turkey, la gente esta muy loca. What the cluck?"""

"A man and a doctor are talking... The doctor says ""I have bad news. You have cancer, and you have Alzheimer's."" The man replies, ""Thank God I don't have cancer."""

"I've discovered I own five umbrellas, if anyone wants to stage a musical number."

"What does a vegetarian zombie eat? Grains..."