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Joke of the Day

"I was asked earlier today on my view on lesbian relationships. Apparently in ""HD"" was the wrong answer."

"My girlfriend recently asked me if I wanted to get more serious. I said, ""What do you think we can do to keep the second amendment while making sure terrorism and crime are not enacted?"""

"Do you have porridge for breakfast? Kevin Bacon"

"It is nearly impossible to find an eye doctor on an Alaskan island. They are all optical Aleutians."

"What are the three most important things to an orthopedic surgeon's business? Dislocation, dislocation, dislocation"

"How did the metal get the wrong idea? He was misled."

"Boss: Why is Pizza Hut listed as your emergency contact? Me: Because if things ever get crazy, they'll know where to find me."

"I hate when people say having a black friend allows them to say the n word You have to have at least two since black people are only 3/5s of a person"

"Give a man a bed, he'll sleep for a day Put a landmine in the bed, and he'll sleep for the rest of his life"

"Short rabbi joke As I'm walking with a rabi I ask him, Me: so do you charge a lot for you circumcisions? Rabbi: no I just keep the tips"