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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie? Because he was arrested for pirating movies since it's illegal!"

"For Halloween, my neighbor put up a Wolverine themed scarecrow. And it's terrifying my daughter. I guess she is claw-straw-phobic..."

"Did you here Whitey Bulger was put in solitary confinement because he was caught masterbating in his cell? It was a sticky situation."

"What did the Mexican man say after two houses fell on him? ""Get off me, homes"""

"How do you change a cat into a dog? Soak it in gasoline, hold a match up to it, and ""woof!"""

"What do you call a priest's sermon that takes too long? The Reverending Story"

"When people ask how my childhood was, I say ""Pretty good, so far."""

"Mechanic: what seems to be the problem? Me: nice try buddy, that's what I'm paying you for"

"MOOF What goes moof? A cow with buck teeth."

"""Hey Siri, what's your favorite 'Friends' quote?"" ""I'm very bendy"""