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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a dog who can do magic? A labracadabrador"

"How do you get a jewish girl's number? You pull up her sleeve"

"My doctor just told me I was suffering from paranoia. Well he didn't actually say that, but I could tell it was what the bastard was thinking."

"They're getting rid of all our Fossil Fuels to go 100% Electric?! Oil go Volt! No votes, really? No one gets this joke, I see."

"9 just scolded me at the grocery for buying wine. I told him it was ok, I was 21 to which he loudly responded, Nooo, you're 38. Thanks son."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Anna ! Anna who ? Annather brick in the wall !"

"You can accurately measure a person's intelligence level by giving them a simple prostate exam. If they let you, they're an idiot."

"*in a fight with Humpty Dumpty* ""You don't scare me, I eat eggs like you for breakfast"""

"Last night I was questioned by a detective, and then afterwards we had sex EDIT: Seriously, gilded? I'm speechless"

"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... Ba Dum Tss!"