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Joke of the Day

"Dance like nobody's watching. Do the dishes like nobody's watching. Change into that robe like nobody's watching. No, the other one."

"An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I loaned it to a friend but he suddenly moved away"

"What do people typically get at Whole Foods? Ripped off."

"what do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off"

"I want to make a font joke, but I'm just not bold enough."

"I'm trying to write a joke about unemployed people... It needs more work."

"What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed? Aw sheet! One of my favorite, cheesiest jokes of all time. Thought it would be a good first post to Reddit!"

"Girl: Saying hot is disrespectful. You should say 'beautiful' instead. Me: Ok. Me: Can you please pass the beautiful sauce?"

"I peed on the elevator. That's wrong on SO many levels."

"Me: Hey lady, you can't park there. Her: I'm just running into Starbucks. Me: Oh shit, my bad. Laws don't apply to you then."