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Joke of the Day

"How do you sort out Ant and Dec? Squash one and deal with the other later."

"Apparently, the words ""I'd still hit it"" are words best kept to yourself at a funeral"

"There are a lot of dads out there trying to make up for lost time by ""liking"" their grown children's facebook updates."

"How do I make my penis 12 inches long? By folding it in half."

"Why did they let the chicken join the band? Because he brought his own drumsticks"

"I watched what many consider the worst Star Trek episode ever, but I didn't think it was too bad. I guess I just have a lower Threshold for quality."

"Peter Pan is my favorite story about how running away from all your problems will allow you to remain youthful and to possibly fly someday"

"My neighbour finally confronted me about clothes missing from her washing line. I nearly shit her pants."

"I just put a client on hold for five minutes while I went to the break room to heat up a burrito in case you wondered about my work ethic."

"What's black and brown on the inside and blue and white on the outside? Jail"