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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris can run up a flight of stairs backwards."

"How many joules does it take to fry a Jew? Nein joules."

"TIL that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Arkansas to 32. It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools."

"I'm 25, which means I'm just as far from 10 as I am from 40. Although, in terms of money and maturity, I'm still way closer to 10."

"Before the internet, it was way harder to google stuff"

"I watched my cat wake after an 8 hour nap, and play with joyful abandon with his 10 cent plastic snake, and thought: Lucky fucking bastard."

"[phone rings] ""We've removed your son's missing picture from our milk cartons."" ""You found him?"" ""No, people stopped buying milk."""

"Why did the hearing aid saleman give it up for a life of piracy? Because he only made a good buccaneer."

"Two deer at a gay bar Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One turns and says to the other, ""I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks in there."""

"The Irish must be very rich... ...since their capital is always Dublin"