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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the magic tractor? It turned into a field"

"[at Indian restaurant] ""Those triangular pastry parcels with the spicy filling were delicious!"" ""Samosa?"" ""Oh no thanks, I'm full"""

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Candice ! Candice who ? Candice get any better !"

"""Down"" ""Penetration"" ""Tight End"" ""Ball handling"" Don't the networks have censors any more?"

"What do you call someone who spends 24 hours a day on the Internet? Anything you like they're not listening to you anyway."

"How many eggs can you eat while fasting? Just one, because after eating it you won't be fasting anymore"

"What do you call a dinosaur that's in a hurry? A Prontosaur."

"""Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."" The priest replied, ""I know. I saw your tweet!"""

"A Russian went for an eye check up. The doctor showed him some letters on the board: CZWXNQSTAZKY ""Can you read this?"" The Russian responds, ""Read? I even know this guy. He's my cousin."""

"On which side do you drive? American: Right-side. Britisher: Left-side Indian: Depends on which side the oncoming traffic is."