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Joke of the Day
"I really love spicy foods ...but the Ghost pepper is my a-chilis heel."
Next Joke
"I killed my wife because I heard mourning sex was so great."
"I was fucking this older woman, when she said, ""You know, you remind me of my son."" I said, ""Let's not make this weird, gran."""
"Being an adult means assuming someone's dead every time your parents call you at work."
"How many bears would Bear Grylls grill if Bear Grylls could grill bears? None. He'd eat them raw!"
"I never mess with anyone in a Pontiac Aztek. I just don't want to be on the wrong end of another of their poor decisions."
"There will only be 7 planets left... After I destroy Uranus."
"What's worst than one bee sting? Two bee stings What's worst than two bee stings? The Holocaust."
"I had sex for an hour and 20 seconds today... Thank you daylight savings time."
"NEWSFLASH: Billy Corgan has permanently lost his voice, and can only lip sync his songs... Going forward his band will be known as 'DUBSMASHING PUMPKINS'."