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Joke of the Day

"For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism."

"Looks like Brenda in Accounting drew on her angry eyebrows today..."

"Why are there so few female politicians? It's hard to put makeup on two faces."

"Where's the best place to hide after a murder? Behind a badge"

"Sleeping with your girlfriend is like sleeping in a no camping zone. You want to get comfy,but you can't risk pitching a tent. Was bored"

"My dog cant hear me yelling at him to stop chasing squirrels, but he can hear a damn cheese wrapper from 500 miles away"

"Well, I just had this Epiphany, but I'm a little worried ... I think she might be underage."

"[undercover FBI agent who's had me under surveillance for weeks decides to blow his cover] do you ever stop eating?"

"I just saw my balls on The Simpsons. Itchy and Scratchy."

"whats got two legs and bleeds..? Half a dog"