213211

Joke of the Day

"If you say married people aren't having sex, you have obviously never sat in a hotel bar & watched them pick up strangers."

"The way my dog maintains eye contact while taking a dump is unsettling. Can't he read a magazine like a normal dog?"

"What's the difference between shame and pride? It depends on where I draw the line."

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? You only need one nail to hang a picture! Happy Easter!"

"Well, you know what they say about guys with big feet... it takes a Chinese newborn an extra three hours to make their goddamned shoes."

"How does Sean Connery ask for Worchestershire sauce? (x-post from askreddit) Worsheshershershosh."

"I hope this new health care bill also includes every American's right to a lollipop after leaving the doctor."

"Why do credit cards not work in France? They don't understand the concept of charging."

"Why do you want to run for President? Because walking wouldn't burn enough calories."

"I used to be a Banker.... but then I lost interest"