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Joke of the Day

"ME: *pleased* Honey, I folded the dishes. WIFE: M: W: The laundry. M: No the dish... W: M: W: What? M: We need new dishes."

"how to get a fat chick in bed... It's a piece of cake!"

"What did the mayor of dinosaur town say when crime increased by 50%? This calls for Jurastic changes"

"My friend said her neighbors came into her restaurant for a book club, turns out it was for a BDSM club. . . I guess people bond over different things."

"What do you think goes through a spiders mind when you hit it with a hammer? His ass."

"When I go to Burger King, I like to get a Whopper and a Whopper jr. then make the Whopper watch as I eat the Whopper jr."

"What did Harry Potter say when his waiter gave him the wrong drink? ""Sir, when I buy patron I EXPECTO PATRONUM!"" (Hauls ass towards the exit)"

"Have you heard about the world's largest broom? It's sweeping the nation!"

"I used to be indecisive.... Now I'm not so sure."

"Documentaries must provide 90% of the employment for violin players."