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Joke of the Day

"Q: How many Labour Party members does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: None. They haven't got a policy on that."

"Why did the spy cross the border? Because he never really was on your side."

"*Holds door for woman *Slams door in her boyfriend's face"

"u cant teach an old fern new tricks. u cant teach any fern any tricks. basicaly a fern makes for a verey disobedient pet"

"Did you hear about the woman who's addicted to lipstick? It's so crazy, it's something nobody could makeup!"

"Q: How many Camera Assistants does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Five: One to do it and four to tell you how they did it on the last job."

"What do you call a penguin with a machine gun? Sir. [Groan worthy penguin jokes](https://allwrong.wordpress.com/2007/10/05/penguin-riddles/)"

"What is the plural of manatee? Menatee"

"What I learned from Titanic was that you need to have sex as soon as possilble with the person you like cause you never know what might happen."

"Two cows are standing in a field. The first cow says, ""hey, I'm really worried about this mad cow disease going around"". The second cow says, ""I don't care, I'm a submarine!""."