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Joke of the Day
"I broke up with my cross-eyed girlfriend today..... That bitch was seeing somebody else."
Next Joke
"[two australians playing chess in a restaurant] check, mate *everyone explodes*"
"Romeo possum: [kissing] You're so hot Juliet possum: [plays dead] Romeo possum: Not cool, babe"
"Have you heard about the rioting in Baltimore? So far they've caused 4 million dollars in improvements."
"What's red and bad for your teeth? ...A brick"
"Today I sent out a text saying, ""Hey, I lost my phone, will you call it?"" 12 people called me...I need damn smarter friends."
"Okay, Beverly Hills plastic surgeons. Seems like it might be time for you to Google ""normal human mouth"" photos."
"What's Rick Grimes' favorite holiday? Christmas, Carl"
"A vegan, cross fitters, and yoga person sit down for dinner And nobody says a word."
"So a pirate walks into a bar... The bartender says ""You look so annoyed!"". The pirate points down and says ""Yargh - I have a steering wheel at the end of my penis. It's drivin' me nuts!"""