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Joke of the Day

"I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, ""No, the steaks are too high."""

"My mom used to tuck me in every night. She really wanted a daughter."

"Just a Reddit joke Never mind, I already Reddit."

"A lifetime supply of McDonalds is actually pretty short"

"Can't believe it's the Chinese New Year. I'm still writing Rabbit on all of my checks."

"I accidentally wet the bed I share with my girlfriend.... She's still pissed"

"I like to think of myself as the Martha Stewart of slobs."

"Why do infants wake up crying as if they are the ones who have to go out and work!?"

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's **not** funny!"

"My friends are baffled that I gave up the single life for my European wife and wonder why I don't chase girls anymore. It's because she keeps me in Czech."