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Joke of the Day

"Trying to assemble a team of superhero sex offenders. We definitely need the Flash."

"Thinking about free healthcare and how much it's going to cost me?"

"So I got these shoes from my drug dealer... I don't know what he laced it with but I have been tripping all day. s/o to my professor for telling this joke to me today and giving me a good laugh."

"So I've been tossing up between becoming a meteorologist or a scout master. But I don't know weather or knot.."

"I'm so broke... I gotta jerk off the dog to feed the cat"

"Why did the Italian miss his dinner? It'a was'a pasta his bed time"

"Hostess: Table for one? Me: More like TABLE FOR FUN, AMIRITE? Hostess: ... Me: ... Hostess: ... Me: Yes, one please."

"Doctor: ""Your x-ray showed a broken rib... ... but we fixed it with Photoshop."""

"How much wood can Chuck Norris if Chuck Norris could chuck wood? Chuck Norris would just stare at the wood, and it would chuck itself out of fear."

"Why did reddit's admins go back to school? because they can't spell ""read it""."