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Joke of the Day

"""So glad to meet you"" said the Hindu politely ? ""Charmed I'm sure "" replied the snake !"

"Somewhere right now, a girl just uploaded a picture of a place she went to in the past with a caption that says ""take me back </3"""

"When I'm dead, these tweets will be worth twice as much."

"What do you call a crazy bug that lives in space? A lunar-tick"

"I asked my wife.. ""what would you do if I won the lottery?"" She replied, "" I would take half and leave you."" I said, ""good I won $12. Here's $6, now fuck off."""

"Devil worshipper leader: ""Due to a typo we have summoned the wrong demon."" Stan: ""Hey there."""

"I decided to leave work an hour early today You should have seen the look on the co-pilot's face when I grabbed that parachute."

"So I had this really great racist joke. But some black guy stole it."

"Two Pigs Laying In The Sun... One pig says: ""It's so hot out here."" The other pig says: ""I am..."" (_) ( _)>- (_) ""Bacon."""

"Why was the Trebuchet so rude? It was an offensive siege weapon!"