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Joke of the Day
"Why are there so many female archaeologists? Because women love digging up old shit."
Next Joke
"any drug is a gateway drug if you do it while standing in a gateway"
"I LOVE YOU ... A man was out for a drink with his wife one night and he said, ""I love you"". The wife asked, ""Is that you or the beer talking"" He said, ""It's me........ I'm talking to the beer""!"
"The year is 2072. Numbers have lost all meaning. It could be 3247 for all they know. ""It's 5486,"" says one guy, but it could've been 8 guys."
"I was in a flash mob once. We'd mainly just hold people at gunpoint until they updated their Adobe."
"What's the difference between god and an engineer God doesn't walk around thinking he's a fuckin engineer. (Told to me by a millwright)"
"I wanna go out I wanna come in I wanna go out I wanna come in I wanna go out I wanna come in -My dog, all day long."
"What's the deal with circles. They're pointless."
"My wife made me coffee this morning & winked at me when she handed me the cup. I've never been more scared of a drink in all of my life."
"In case you wondered what married life is like, my wife is yelling at me for making her forget why she was yelling at me."