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Joke of the Day
"A toothless budgie will always achieve his goals Because they always succeed"
Next Joke
"What sound does a grape make when you step on it? Just a little wine"
"I feel sorry for kids today but mostly because their cartoons are terrible."
"2017 Resolution: spend more quality time with my son *son begins describing his 500 new Pokemon cards* Well, there's always next year"
"people said my days of misquoting famous idioms were over but I'm like a phoenix rising from molasses"
"The only difference between Black Friday and a zombie apocalypse is that zombies don't care if you get the last iPad Mini."
"Son? ""Yes dad?"" If they ever put me on my death bed... I want you to... ""Yes?"" Tell those idiots to put me on a life bed instead wtf"
"the guy who named the spatula was so lazy. hes like ""what should i call this thing that spatulas?"""
"What do you call a group of racist mathematicians? The K^3"
"Looking at you is getting my dick harder than Chuck Norris"