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Joke of the Day

"I swallowed a live bee the other day It turned into quite an intra-sting situation."

"What do you do with an elephant with 3 balls? Walk him and pitch to the rhino."

"Boss: You wrote one of your strengths is invisibility and that seems--what are you doing?! Me (giving him the finger): Wait--you can see me?"

"I've been tweeting for 10 hours straight...and 3 hours gay."

"Just bought a pair of velcro shoes. What a rip off."

"The less people you chill with....The less bullshit you deal with."

"A shower so cold, you call it by your exes name"

"what do you call a blonde that dyed her hair brunette. artificial intelligence."

"I hope all the friends I've made in the bathroom at 1am are still SO pretty and everything worked out with that boy they were drunk texting"

"An old drunk stumbles into a confessional. After not hearing anything for a while the Priest knocked on the wall. The drunk said forget it buddy there's no paper in here either."