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Joke of the Day

"I knew a story about a midget communist prostitute... ...it was called ""Little red riding hook"""

"If being a disappointment were an Olympic sport.... I could win the gold, have my father present the medal to me, and it still wouldn't be enough for him to be proud of me."

"At the coffee shop, I saw a German guy reading the first few pages of a book about WWII and smiling. Keep reading, buddy. Keep reading."

"I tried to make a few jokes about french people they were all really rude so I didn't bother"

"So my girlfriend got a new tattoo...... Of a seashell located on her inner thigh, and the best part is if you place your ear next to it you can smell the ocean."

"What's the difference between a fruit and a nut? I don't fruit all over your mother's tits."

"I thought being patronized would be cool until they explained it did not involve tequila."

"What do you get when you mix Nyquil and MiraLAX? Relaxatives."

"What does a cynical Irishman drink? Whiskey sour"

"""Dad, I want to be a feminist when I grow up."" Dad: ""Well choose one honey, you can't do both""."