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Joke of the Day

"I joked at school drop off that the white stuff on my kid was powdered sugar, not cocaine, but I took it too far by rubbing some on my gums."

"What is a boxer's favorite meal? Break-fist"

"Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes."

"I was dating this girl until I found out she stuffed her bra with tissue paper. Then I was hooked because serious allergy issues."

"The EU has said that more needs to be done to help the Syrian refugees, especially the children. May I recommend swimming lessons?"

"All of the other reindeer were secretly watching red-nose-on-regular-nose porn."

"My boss told me to have a good day.. So I went home."

"My iPod started crying after I dropped it. I said ""You'll be okay, stop syncing about it"". We laughed & made jokes about Microsoft together."

"My dad use to take me to the circus to see the tattooed man and the bearded lady. Now, I can see them anytime shopping at Walmart."

"If a mugger ever asks me to draw an uppercase cursive Q or he'll shoot, tell my family I died a hero... #hero #cootertales"