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Joke of the Day

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Checkmate ! Checkmate who ? Checkmate bounce if you don't have money in the bank !"

"Everybody always says they want a fairytale wedding, but when I show up and curse their newborn, suddenly I'm a jerk."

"What sound does a gun made from church seating make? Pew Pew.. Sorry. Just became a father 2 years ago. I have some catching up to do."

"My girlfriend said that she'd break up with me if I kerp on making cheesy puns Its okay some things just are'nt ment to brie"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Butcher ! Butcher who ? Butcher your arms around me !"

"So two guns are hanging out, ""shootin' the shit""... When one gun says to the other, ""Damn dude, those are some nice bullets, where'd you get them?"" the second gun says, ""In some old magazine I found."""

"When I lost my rifle the army charged me $85.That's why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship. Sometimes shit happens"

"DOCTOR: Does it hurt when I do this? *takes you out several times then acts distant*"

"Look at each failure as a deposit made into the account that will help you write the check for your next significant success."

"My girlfriend said she was sick of me pretending to be a detective... ...and that ""we should split up"" ""Good idea"", I said, ""that way we can cover more ground"""