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Joke of the Day
"50% of all trending topic tweets are people asking what the trending topic means."
Next Joke
"What happens when you cross a fly and a mountain climber? Trick question, you can't cross a vector and a scalar."
"Vegetarians live up to nine years longer. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, baconless, cheeseburgerless, meatless years."
"Men in suits look really successful until you find out they work for the men in T-shirts and jeans"
"How does Shrek describe his sex with Fiona? Medi-Ogre"
"Driving in London"
"My wife and I decided that we don't want to have children anymore. So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring one."
"I'd rather hear my parents describe how they have sex than hear a group of drunk chicks when their favorite song comes on."
"After kissing a girl in back of the gym for several hours I said, ""You know, this isn't working out."""
"i drive the golf carts in gta most because i was never allowed to in real life. i also stab chairs because im not allowed to do that either"